i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
