remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
