I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
