How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
