Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
