Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Randomize
