She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize