Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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