Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
