so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
