I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
