We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Farmville is her only friend.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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