I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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