you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We had to coat check the pizza.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
