Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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