no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
