Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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