do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize