I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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