are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize