there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
