I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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