Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
