i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
