If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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