sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Holy sore nipples Batman
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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