you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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