I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We are two peas in an std pod
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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