You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize