i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
