do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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