Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
