from now on my penis is your penis
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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