We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
