Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
