It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
