I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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