If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
