he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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