So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
