Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
