i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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