Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
