I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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