the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
