She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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