he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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