the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
please don't ironically join a cult
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