He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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