eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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