So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
