Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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