Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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