i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
