Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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