Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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