Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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