Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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