Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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