Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
