i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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