How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
