I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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