the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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