marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
