How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
